Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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