i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
