Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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