I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
