Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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