You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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