Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
