So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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