I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
