Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
