Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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