just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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