I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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