I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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