An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
