My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
