Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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