can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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