What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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