Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they're like a gay fantastic four
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
