Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
