I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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