I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
