remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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