she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
