does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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