I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
