Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize