I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
