guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
