You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize