I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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