Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
