she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize