And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
