so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
