why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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