I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My vagina is very pro this idea
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
