I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
