Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
