things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
