I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
