i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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