i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
