pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
