Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
