I wish I only lived at night.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I did not marry a roomba.
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