I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
