The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
