this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
