Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
