I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
