Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
